Ask The Moral Guy: Epilepsy Made Me Do It

It's time again to Ask The Moral Guy, where I answer all your most difficult ethical dilemmas in 500 words or less. Today's question deals with medical conditions and when they excuse bad behavior.

Last week I had two people over to my house, one a good friend and the other more of an acquaintance I knew from work. While we were talking in my living room, the acquaintance (I'll call him Peter) stood up and jerked his hand out in front of him, breaking a picture frame and tearing a cherished family photo. Peter didn't apologize, though after a few days he did offer to pay for the frame. Later my good friend, who knew Peter better than I did, took me aside to tell me Peter had a medical condition which caused him to involuntary move his body. My friend seemed to think I shouldn't hold a grudge, but I'm not so sure. Even though Peter offered to pay for the damage, I felt I was still owed an apology. Is it OK for me to be upset about this, or am I just being insensitive to someone with a disability?

--Anonymous

Like a lot of ethical questions, it depends on the details of the situation, specifically whether or not Peter made any effort to avoid causing damage:

If Peter made an honest effort to make sure his condition didn't break that great picture of your little bro--if he tried staying away from breakable items and faced away from fragile objects--then he didn't do anything wrong. It would be no different than if your friend was careful, but tripped over your rug and shattered the expensive china--an unfortunate accident. We can't reasonably expect people who suffer from relatively minor medical conditions to become hermits and cloister themselves off in child-proof rooms.

If, on the other hand, Peter didn't care enough to avoid getting near the expensive stuff, and just assumed that his condition would excuse any minor destruction he might wreak, then he acted unethically: he knew he was running a risk picking the chair next to your valuables, and he chose to sit there anyway. In that case, he owes you an apology.

On a totally unrelated note, I toyed with the idea of calling this post "Conditional Excuses." Am I trying too hard for the cheap pun?

Ask The Moral Guy: Underage Driving

This is the first of what will hopefully become a regular addition to my blog: taking an ethical dilemma and explaining what I take to be the right thing to do. I obviously welcome any submissions you might have (go for it!), but for now I'll settle with the much more old-fashioned talking with friends and family and getting their suggestions. So, without further delay, the very first addition of Ask The Moral Guy:

For the last few months, I've been allowing my 14 year old son drive around in our apartment complex's parking lot, with me in the passenger seat. As you might guess, he isn't old enough to apply for a learner's permit, and so he would be in quite a bit of trouble if a cop were to catch us. Last week we nearly got into an accident with another car that would clearly have been the other driver's fault. At the time I was convinced that, if we did have an accident, I should switch places with my son and assume any fault. Would it be ethical for me to take the wrap for him?

--Anonymous

I admit, this is a tough one. The short answer, though, is that no, it would not be ethical to lie to the other driver or to the police about who was operating your vehicle.

In such a case, I can't deny that you're caught in a difficult situation (which I should point out is entirely of your own making): you have, on the one hand, an obligation to be truthful to the other driver as well as to the police; on the other hand, there are serious responsibilities that come along with being a parent, which includes looking after your child's best interests.

Still, while you are required to look out for your son, that obligation does not extend so far as to permit you to intentionally deceive other people about a crime just to make life easier for him. Let us not forget that while you, as the adult, should never have offered this opportunity, your son knew full well that he was breaking the law.

Finally, you should remember that your moral obligation doesn't stop at simply refraining from lying. Since you, as the adult and legal guardian, bear a significant portion of the responsibility for your child's predicament, you are also obligated to do what you can to minimize the affect this has on him, which might include helping to pay his fine, explaining to the police or a judge your involvement and, most importantly, apologizing to your son.